Grandmother's Ashes

Back in September, I got a call from Mom who'd been to a funeral (3rd one in a month!), and Bill Duckett the funeral director ("Kick the bucket? Call Duckett!"), mentioned to her that he still had her mother's ashes in his office. That might not seem so strange on the face of it, except that Grandma died in 1984 at the age of 90, and Mom was absolutely convinced that he'd already brought the ashes over in an oatmeal container (?), and that she'd put Grandma up in the attic until she got around to getting her interred next to Grandpa (??).

Well in the intervening 20+ years, the attic got very cluttered, and we understood that she was up there 'somewhere' (how heavenly!), but no clue as to where to find her. After Mom's stroke in March of '06, my brother Geoff and I decided that we had to take care of the attic, basement, and garage, and that it was either do it now or wait until she died, with us in our mid 50's or older by then, and the kids grown and gone and not around to help.

We started before the beginning of April, and finished sometime in October. We cleared the attic right down to the bare studs, with no sign of an oatmeal box, spilled ashes, or anything remotely funeral-like. Mom was convinced that mice had eaten her (ewww!), but certainly not box and all.

Now that Bill has revealed that Grandma has been peacefully ensconced on some forgotten back shelf all these years, Mom is wondering just whose ashes she was given, and what happened to them. I'm inclined to think that she created the whole memory. The director probably came over to the house with the guestbook sometime after the service, and over the years Mom filled in the gaps with her imagination. I know my uncle told me that he understood that the ashes will still at the funeral home, and was annoyed at my mother for putting it off for so long. He'd get a kick out of this, unfortunately he died 2 years ago at the age of 82.

My Dad died in 2001 and Mom still hasn't purchased a memorial stone. I've told her now is the time, and please let's not go through this bizarre business all over again. We'll get all of our family's affairs in order. It's downright unseemly not to!!